stuck in the middle

monday night during a thai dinner with friends, i found myself in a situation that i last specifically remember from seventh grade.

the long table held at least 11 people. i sat in the very middle, with a few people to either side and a few across the way. now, to understand me, you have to be aware that many times i choose not to participate in conversation when more than one other person is involved. i prefer to watch and listen. (and provide gratuitous laughter and smiles.)


my elbow on the table, i leaned to the left to have full view of two boys as they throw ideas at each other (and sometimes at me) about frying un-fry-able foods. theirs are the most animated faces at the table, as usual. every so often the neighbor to my left sends over these maniacal grins, eyebrows as high as they can stand, keeping me in the loop.

then suddenly a sound behind me catches my attention. i do an about-face to set my left elbow on the table. three suave friends discuss smoking somethingorother, my attention is grabbed--what could possibly make you feel like you're in an alternate universe, seeing everything for the first time?

but the yelling from the other side grabs me and turns me around. this time it's something about an icemaker.

what now? to the right someone's talking about england.

and god forbid i hear a snippet of conversation from across the table! a dropped class, a cookbook, a beer.

a brief conversation with the right-hand friend. knitting. something i am genuinely interested in. but i cannot speak for all the words i hear moving past my ears from every direction!